Friday, July 14, 2017

First on My List: The Twenty Third Psalm

This morning I was scheduled for an MRI. The purpose of this test is to see if there is a recurrence of the spinal cord tumor I had removed in June, 2012. The tumor was benign, but there is a ten per cent chance of regrowth. The recommended follow up is every two years, but due to anxiety and concerns about the contrast material I need for this test I skipped/delayed it. But prudence won over anxiety and I found myself at the imaging center and 8:30 this morning.

I knew I was anxious, but until I was actually in the machine, I didn't realize how anxious I was. Thoughts of getting stuck in the MRI tube popped into my head, and I knew I could spiral into hysteria. I needed to calm myself quickly and with virtually no conscious thought "The Lord is my shepherd..." came into my mind. The Twenty-third Psalm is the only psalm I know by heart and the verses soothed me and brought me back to a calmer place. I recited it at least twice and then proceeded to a series of Beatle songs, followed by the streets in the neighborhood I grew up in. It was an odd combination, but I was able to get through the test without panic.

For my friends who are praying women, what prayers do you turn to? What prayers would you have turned to in this situation? For my friends who are not given to prayer for calming, would you have turned to music? Would poetry be your go-to? I've memorized a lot of poetry, but it didn't cross my mind this morning. Prayer, music and childhood memories saved my day. What would save your day?

I expect to get the results of the test early next week. I'm optimistic that the outcome will be clear and no recurrence, but until I hear from my neurosurgeon, "The Lord is my shepherd...: will stay in the center of my mind, continuing to clear the anxiety away.

As ever, thanks for visiting, and have a great weekend!

       

12 comments:

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

Hi, Carol! Just read on FB about the MRI and I hope the results are good. The 23rd Psalm is the only psalm I know by heart too, though I know verses from others. Poetry also helps--Mary Oliver's Wild Geese. And repeating the names of my husband and cats.

Deborah Jean Templin said...

Before a show when I sometimes get anxious...I let the words of the Lord's Prayer help me ... funny... the words" give us this day our daily bread"... helps. It makes me mindful of how very little we really need to survive. Then breathing DEEPLY

Sybil said...

I think my list would be very similar to yours...Although thankfully I don't get into a panic very easily. I desperately need an MMR scan but unfortunately I cannot lie on my back and when I went to have it done they said they coudnt do,it beacause I would just have too !!!...so I just struggle on....never mind, I do hope that your outcome will be good and positive xxx

From the Kitchen said...

Sending a prayer your way for the best outcome.

Best,
Bonnie

Lynda said...

Praying your results are even better than you anticipate. I think it is a scary experience going for a second evaluation when you have been through treatment once and know if the outcome is not good, recognizing what is ahead for you - - but we are praying for great results from this MRI. It will be an even bigger relief to hear the good news because of your history!

I remember when I had an MRI. It was much noisier than I anticipated. I also decided to shut my eyes so I didn't see how tight the space was. Like you, I prayed - - - first for everyone I could think of and then I also may have sung songs either a bit out loud or to myself. What was also a bit unnerving about the experience was at the end - - - waiting - - guess they were looking at pics to make sure they didn't need anymore - - - but they weren't talking or saying, "Just a few more minutes - - we haven't forgotten you." Nothing - - just silence in a close tube.

Anyway - - it's a Saturday - - possibility of rain - - but we're not at a medical facility!!!!

TARYTERRE said...

praying for healthy results for you. when confronted with such a thing i simply drain my brain practicing mindfulness. it works. sounds like you got your anxiety under control, though doing what you did.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

The 23rd Psalm is a good one. I am a praying person and it works. We don't always get the answers we need but trust that we are not alone in whatever we are going through. Will keep you in my prayers. Waiting is hard. Too bad there are not instant answers.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I am no longer religious, but I still love that Psalm. It is beautiful and comforting. I am a glad that you will get your results back quickly and not have the agony of waiting for too long.

Meditation helps me during difficult times. During the past few years, I have gone through too many medical tests. When entering one of those scary tubes I put my mind in a large field of yellow wildflowers and dance with my loved ones. We are all holding hands and laughing. I know I will be safe despite all the banging going on.

Susie said...

Praying for you dear Buttercup. I usually say the Lord's Prayer. Even with a great faith we are just human and will become anxious in tough times. Be strong. Blessings to you, xoxo, Susie

ILLONA M Dubaldo said...

Can't wait for our next taste test!

Saleslady371 said...

What a beautiful way to pray, I love that Psalm especially the line where it goes: "He sets a table before me in the presence of my enemies." Anxiety is an enemy and my husband just went through this with an MRI and tells me they are no fun. I believe God heals and I look up the healing Scriptures and speak His Word over me or others believing in faith that what I send forth has power like no other. You are on my list and I am praying for perfect peace and healing!

Theresa said...

I have never been in one of those tubes, but my Brother has! He had to come out of it one time before the test was complete:( We have to do what keeps us healthy and I will pray that your results are CLEAR! Have a blessed day dear friend, HUGS!