Monday, October 7, 2013

The Honeymoon Is Over (Sort Of)

I think the official retirement honeymoon is over. In the last three days three people have asked if I wanted to be working and my answer was maybe. I don't think I want to be working at the job I retired from and I know I don't want to take on the same set of responsibilities, but I like the idea of working. The latter isn't surprising. I liked working and there were jobs I really loved, but I was ready to stop doing what I was doing. To be honest, I would have liked to stay on part-time, which is theoretically possible, but didn't happen for me. I think that would have been a good transition and reduced any financial worries I have.

My focus last June was to take a year, do a lot of blogging and work on a book. I am doing this. I blog almost every day very happily, and the book is one third finished. This puts me on track to complete my book dream by next spring, exactly when I hoped to have it done. But I realize there's a level of anxiety between living my dream and not meeting my expectations. Going back to working would quiet the anxiety, but raise a new set of issues. This is my dream and I am scared and anxious I might fail at it. I think I've got "fear of  success," a term I haven't heard in ages but remember from my college days.

In any new relationship the first days and months are fabulous. We don't see the flaws and if we do, we can generally ignore them. As the days go by, the little habits that were cute become annoying. But if the relationship is solid and we don't get distracted by small issues a solid relationship grows deeper and sweeter. It's the same for a new phase of life, whether it's summer camp and not getting distracted by being homesick or moving half-way across the country to take advantage of a fellowship for graduate school. It was easy to think about how lonely I was and forget the opportunity that was right before me. The retirement honeymoon is over and now to work on making reality of my dreams.

It's another summer day in New York City. I did get to the post office -- despite the tornado (!) warnings -- and in an effort to have a taste of autumn (literally) treated myself to my first pumpkin muffin.

As always, thanks for visiting and take good care of yourself.

17 comments:

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

You've set some wonderful goals for yourself and writing a book is BIG! The pumpkin muffin sure sounds yummy! Hope your weather was nicer today! Hugs!

Deanna said...

You have such a talent for writing I am adding my encouragement to keep at it, follow that dream, don't be afraid of "success", so easy to say, but doing it takes guts. I'm with ya kid. I had a pumpkin bagel for breakfast, mighty tasty!!

Catherine said...

Dear Carol, Let your heart lead you. I suppose we have thought with our minds most of these years. (I know I have)If you have th opportunity, think with your heart and be happy.
All the very best with your book. That will be a wonderful achievement.

p.s. As for a apple drink; I think of apples, ginger, perhaps fresh basil, honey. If you want a creamy effect add a little cream, milk or coconut milk. What ever you like best. Freeze the apples or use ice.Process everything in the food processor. I think that would be a nice combo.
Blessings dear. Catherine xo

Barbara F. said...

My honeymoon with retirement is still a love fest! 9/1/09 one of the best days of my life. I love the sweetness of doing nothing, I am rediscovering hobbies, do my housework and chores at my pace. I could never go back to either of my jobs, no way. They killed me in different ways. I did volunteer work and that got to be a problem so I put that on a back burner and will revisit it again in the future.

I am fortunate to have friends who are home, also. Just put it out there in the Universe and things will start to happen.

What kind of book are you writing? xo

TARYTERRE said...

I've been working on my book forever. If you are 1/3 of the way. MORE power to you. I hope your dreams come true.

Amanda Smith said...

I think retirement would be great. But I would still want to work part time. I love being around people too much. I work full time, plus a part time job/business and a blog. I wish I could just do my part time business and blog. But not working at all, I wouldn't like the isolation. Follow your heart. Do what mskes you happy. Find your passion.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I have not regretted retirement one time in the 3 years I've been enjoying it. The stress free days are worth it to me. I love being my own boss and deciding just how I want to spend my days. I don't have a lot of money but I do have enough and for me it works. At this point in my life even part time seems more than I'd want to do. I hope you find the balance you are seeking.

BJ PUP said...

I guess my retirement honeymoon is going strong (10/09). I love being able to get whenever, go to the park with my dog, have breakfast, read, and then take a nap. Not having the pressure of dealing with my former manager has been perfect.

Glad to hear you are working on your dreams.

BJ PUP said...

I guess my retirement honeymoon is going strong (10/09). I love being able to get whenever, go to the park with my dog, have breakfast, read, and then take a nap. Not having the pressure of dealing with my former manager has been perfect.

Glad to hear you are working on your dreams.

Lynda said...

You are not one to jump lightly into things so I am sure you will weigh your options before making a decision. The only thing I miss about work is the people I encountered. I do not miss the stress of deadlines and the office work piling up because the public had to be served first. Also, there are too many projects at home that still need completion. I am enjoying working on those. IF I were to want to work again, it would be good to have a flexible schedule with the option of completing some of it at home if need be. It is ALWAYS good to read your posts. I might get back to mine soon - - - we are playing 'beat the clock' trying to finish outside painting.

Theresa said...

I love retirement and can't imagine working again! But, you think it thru and do what your heart tells you! I bet it is perfect in NYC today:) Have a blessed and beautiful day, HUGS!

Nadine_Feldman said...

I have been in your shoes! It's such a deeply personal decision. As food for thought, I hit a time like this, when going back to the job looked attractive because the path forward looked uncertain. For me, it was best to let myself be with the uncertainty...and I did not go back. It was my best decision, though yours may be different.

These days, my schedule is filled to the brim. In fact, I chuckle when I see some of the comments as "working" vs. "not working." I work harder now than I ever did when I had a job! But it does take time to adjust after leaving a long career, and sometimes the length of that adjustment is surprising.

Pondside said...

I read this with interest as I am contemplating retirement in early 2014. I have a long list of things I've always wanted to do, and wonder if they it will be enough. Friends say they can't imagine me retired, but I can imagine it well enough. Thanks for writing about it and putting it out there.

Chatty Crone said...

So what are you saying - you don't want to be retired anymore? Or you don't want to write anymore? What is going on?

Maggid said...

Tornado Warnings???
WHAT'S up with that???
Wacky weather . . .

Everything is finding its proper place in this new, improved life of yours . . . One Third of your book project???

C'mon! You are truly rockin'!!!
love & love,
-g-

Dee said...

Dear Carol, I didn't know you were writing a book. That is of great interest to me because I, too, write and right now I'm trying to find an agent to represent my writing. Have you done that yet? If so, please let me know the process you used. I'd be so interested in that.

And yes, retiring takes time. I actually retired in 2001, but didn't begin to let go of my need to schedule, schedule, schedule until quite recently. Peace.

Mevely317 said...

I'm SO intrigued (and delighted) to know you're moving forward with the book!

OK, I realize there's lots to come between now and then .... but can't wait to hold your story in my hands while I stand in line at your first signing! :)