While I am Buttercup most of the time and Stinkweed, Buttercup's not so smiling alter ego, from time to time, tonight you can call me Sleeping Beauty. Yes, you're looking at my castle.
I've been living in Retiree Fantasyland. Without realizing it I have built a number of fantasies about being retired. The first is...If I wasn't working I wouldn't be aggravated. Of course lots of things have aggravated, saddened and depressed me over the last four decades of work that had nothing to do with work. But I had a fantasy that without work I'd be (reasonably) happy all the time. That fantasy went away pretty quickly and I think by the second week of retirement it was gone.
The second fantasy...If I wasn't working I would have time for everything I want to do. I carried this myth until late last week. I got home from Chicago with a long to-do list and realized some of it just wasn't going to get done quickly, or at all. I am not much more efficient than when I was working. I do have more time, but I've added some new things to the mix, and I'm enjoying them. But there's still not time for everything.
The third fantasy...If I wasn't working I wouldn't be tired. I would have a good night's sleep every night and not be tired in the morning. This is my Sleeping Beauty Fantasy. I stopped sleeping well in 2002. I began menopause, lost my waist and stopped being able to sleep through the night. My sleep has gotten much better, but I haven't and won't return to the years of teenage sleep. But forgetting this reality, I had a fantasy that fatigue would be gone. I've been exhausted for most of the last ten months, and as an improvement I'm only tired now. I found myself really tired this morning and realized that some days I will be tired, particularly when I've been very active. The beauty of retirement is that I can say "I'm not going to zip out of the house after 8:00 a.m. -- just like work -- and go to exercise class. I will take it easy this morning."
And the beauty and gift of retirement is the latter, I can take it easy. What a gift!
Wishing you a Tuesday filled with many gifts.